


The affair

by Fabienne2332



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:10:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14849925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabienne2332/pseuds/Fabienne2332
Summary: Kim finds out about Farrah and Grace.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I read this spoiler about a possible affair between Farrah and Grace. Being a Karrah fan this broke my heart. I let my imagination, as to how it would happen and if Kim would find out, wild. And this short story came out. Hope you enjoy. English isn't my first language but I do my best to spell check and search for any grammatical errors and fix them

Kim  
Seeing them together, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I know things have been hard for us. I haven’t been the same ever since I got freed from that room. But I was trying so hard, mostly for her and our relationship. Why couldn’t she see that. I love Farrah so much but she just gave up on me. I didn’t expect her to cheat on me ever. She doesn’t seem like the type of person to do that. But I guess I was wrong. And of all the women she could have chosen, she chose her. The woman that pretty much ruined my marriage. I hurts so much to see her smiling at her, touching her. And Grace is loving the attention as always. How does she always get to ruin my life? It doesn’t even seem like she has to try. Just one flirty look, one touch and she has got Farrah wrapped around her finger. And they have no idea that I am watching them. It doesn’t even look like they are trying to hide it. Sure they’re not in a public space but it’s not like they are looking to keep it hidden either. When Farrah started getting these text message that made her smile, in a way I hadn’t seen her smile for quite some time. I knew something was going on. I didn’t want to believe that she was seeing someone else. But it made sense. And you know what? I can’t even blame her. She was probably feeling miserable having to be around me constantly, I didn’t like being alone anymore. And having to take care of me like I’m a little kid, scared of everything and everyone around her must have started to take a toll on her. 

But how could she expect me to just move on with my life like I hadn’t been locked up for three months. Like I hadn’t had any contact for so long with anyone. I can’t help the way I feel and I thought she understood. I thought she loved me enough to give me time to cope with things. But I wasn’t enough for her anymore. No she wanted someone that was fun and exciting, like Grace Black. I wonder how she’s going to act when she gets home. Will she act like nothing happened and that she just went to work to talk to a patient. That was her excuse when she left the house in a hurry about thirty minutes ago. Got a text message supposedly saying that a patient needed a consult urgently. I knew she was lying through her teeth, it was so obvious. She thought I wouldn’t notice it, thought I was too caught up in my own misery. So when she left I followed her to where she was going. And then I saw Grace standing there and my heart stopped. Farrah couldn’t be meeting her right? But then Farrah walked up to her and kissed her. How many times had she done that before? Cause she seemed quite comfortable to do so. 

I had to go, I couldn’t look at them being so close any longer. It was making me feel ill. I went home hoping that nobody would be there when I arrived. I really didn’t want to interact with anyone right now. What was I supposed to do now? Should I just pack my stuff and leave? Or listen to more of her lies? Both would hurt, but evidently Farrah didn’t love me anymore. So why stay with someone that doesn’t care about you? I deserve better than that. So I will do the mature thing and I will leave and let them be happy together. They will never have to hear from me ever again. I will make sure I’m gone out of that house before Farrah returns. I won’t even leave her a note telling her I’ve left. She doesn’t deserve that. She will figure it out for herself why I have left her. And then she will call the new love of her life and tell her that they can finally be together properly. Farrah and Grace might even get their own place. Or maybe Misbah would let Grace move in with them. Can’t imagine her doing so, but hey I didn’t expect her to let me stay either. Maybe Grace will be the perfect daughter in law.

After Esther I didn’t think I could love again, but I did. I found someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. If only she had loved me back.


	2. Chapter 2

I was glad to find no one at the house when I got there, I wasn’t ready for people asking questions. This way I could pack my stuff in peace and leave without a hassle. Going up the stairs and down the hallway I passed a mirror. I took a look at myself and saw that all my mascara had run down my face. I hadn’t even realised that I had been crying. I went to the bathroom and quickly washed my face with water just so that when I walked out of here no one would take notice of my appearance. I had decided to call a taxi that would be me up just outside of the village, less chance of running into anyone I know. In the bedroom I packed a suitcases and threw in all of my clothes and other essentials. There were also some pictures of my and Farrah. Though she had hurt me immensely I still wanted to keep some memories. One of the pictures was taken the day I moved in here. We were so happy that Misbah ended up changing her mind and allowing me to stay here. Where did it go wrong? When did she stop loving me? I know I shouldn’t torture myself like this but I have to understand. 

*phone vibrates*

Great Farrah’s texting me. She asking if I would like to go out for dinner tonight. Wow guilty conscious or what? I decided to ignore the text and continue packing. She doesn’t deserve a response. I bet she actually wants me to say no, so she can take her out for dinner. Of course they cant go public yet, Grace is still with Glenn after all. I wonder how he would react to his fiancée cheating on him. Feel sort of bad for him, he seems like a nice guy.  
20 min later  
Kim was sat in a cab with her stuff next to her on her way to the train station. She would take the first train going to London and from there she would see where she would go. She just wanted to get away from Chester as quickly as possible. She had gotten a missed call from Farrah, but she was still choosing to ignore her. She had nothing else to say to her. Maybe Farrah was at home, seeing that her girlfriend had packed all of her stuff and was gone. Maybe she’d be concerned about Kim’s whereabouts. But Kim wasn’t letting Farrah get on her mind again, she was in the past now.   
Looking at her phone again she also saw a missed call from Sienna. Kim was curious as to why Sienna wanted to speak to her. After Sienna’s funeral they hadn’t really spoken to each other. Kim was hurt by Sienna lying to everyone like that. She had thought that maybe Sienna would’ve confided in her, but apparently Sienna didn’t trust her enough. Still Kim also realised that Sienna had been put in an awful situation and had now lost both of her children to Warren. So Kim rang Sienna up to talk to her. Kim was glad to hear Sienna answering her phone.

Kim: Hi Sienna I saw you called. You ok?  
Sienna: I’m fine. I was more concerned about you. Farrah called, she told me that all of your things were gone including your suitcase. She asked if I had any idea where you were. She was probably scared that someone had taken you again. But talking to you on the phone now I think I can be certain that you have not been kidnapped. So where are you?  
Kim: I’m leaving Chester.  
Sienna: Why? What happened?   
Kim: I just can’t be here anymore. So much has happened and I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you, it was kind of a rushed decision.   
Sienna: Listen if you’re in any kind of danger I can help. Just tell me the truth, you know you can trust me.  
Kim: Like you trusted me with your plan of pretending to be dead to lure Nico you mean?  
Sienna: I know I’m sorry. But there was no time to tell anyone and it seemed like my only option to get Sebastian back.   
Kim: I get that, I do. It was just after everything with Ryan I was struggling so much already. And then I thought I had lost you. It hurt to think you didn’t trust me. But honestly I’m not in any kind of danger, I just had to go away. I’m surprised Farrah was worried about me though.  
Sienna: Of course she was, she’s your girlfriend why wouldn’t she worry about you missing?   
Kim: Maybe you should ask her that.   
Sienna: Yeah well I’m asking you now. What is going on?  
Kim: Farrah is having an affair.  
Sienna: No you must be mistaken. She wouldn’t do that, she’s so not the type for that. Why would she cheat on you just mere weeks after getting you back. That doesn’t make sense.  
Kim: I can’t help you with the why. But I know what I saw.  
Sienna: You saw her cheating on you?  
Kim: Yes I did. Can we maybe not talk about it.   
Sienna: I’m so sorry Kim. Did you recognize the person she was with?  
Kim: Oh I definitely did.   
Sienna: And? Who was it?  
Kim: Take a guess. I’ll give you a hint though. She likes to be with people already in a relationship, men or women. And it’s not even the first time she has done this to me, she even did it to you not so long ago.  
Sienna: You’ve got to be kidding me. Grace? I thought she was with Glenn.  
Kim: She is even engaged to him. But she obviously wasn’t thinking about him when she was snogging my girlfriend. Farrah had be acting a bit suspicious lately. When she got a text messaged and told me she had to go meet up with a patient I followed her. Then I saw her walking up to Grace and kissing her. I then walked away, got to the house and packed my stuff. I couldn’t even confront them I was so upset.  
Sienna: Well I’m not going to let those two get away with hurting you like this.  
Kim: Don’t get your self into trouble on my account please. I’m moving on somewhere else it doesn’t matter what they do now.  
Sienna: I can’t let them hurt you the way they did and just let them be happy together. They don’t deserve that.  
Kim: Listen I’m going to hang up. I’m nearly at the train station.   
Sienna: Where are you going?  
Kim: To London. And from there on I will have to see where I’ll go to next. Don’t do anything stupid alright? They are not worth it.  
Sienna: I won’t promise you that I will let this go.  
Kim: I know. But try at least.  
Sienna: Take care. And keep in touch, I don’t want to lose another friend either.  
Kim: Don’t worry you won’t get rid of me that easily. I will call you later tonight. Bye.  
Sienna: Bye Kim, good luck.


	3. Chapter 3

Knowing Sienna she’ll definitely not let it go. I do appreciate her caring though. I should maybe also let Tegan know I’m okay, I don’t want her to freak out about me disappearing so suddenly. But I’m not up for a conversation with her about why I chose to leave. So I’m only going to send her a text, letting her know I’m ok and where I’m heading off to. That should calm her mind a bit I hope. 

30 min later on the train

Kim was sitting on the train on its way to London. It probably wasn’t a good idea to listen to her voice message left by Farrah. She knew that there was a chance that if she heard how upset Farrah was about her leaving she might just run straight back into her arms. But a part of her did want to know for sure if Farrah was really that worried. Needed to hear that she wasn’t pretending to. The first voice message Farrah left she didn’t sound too concerned. She hadn’t gotten home yet and had only wondered if Kim was still up for dinner. The second voice message Farrah told her that she had gotten home, walked up to their bedroom and saw all of Kim’s belongings missing. She did sound quite scared then. Kim almost felt guilty for making her feel this way, only soon getting these images of Farrah and Grace kissing in her head that made her feel a lot less bad about the way she had left things. The other messages Farrah left, she had sounded even more worried, asking Kim if she had done anything wrong. How could she not have realised what was wrong? She wasn’t exactly being subtle about her affair. Maybe she thought Kim was to caught up in her own little world to notice the people around her. And yes while that was partly right, Kim still payed attention to the people she loved most, including Farrah. She knew that she too was struggling with the situation, but just as Farrah, Kim had no idea how to provide any comfort to her. The only difference between them was that Kim chose to be loyal and faithful, believing that it would get better as time would past. Farrah had seem to given up a lot quicker. 

Kim could sort of understand how hard it must have been for Farrah. When Esther had just gotten out of the hospital Kim too struggled to help her. Not knowing how to make her happy and only seemingly upsetting her. And she knew all to well how badly they had ended their marriage. But Kim never gave up on their relationship or tried to find comfort somewhere else with someone else. Looking back at it maybe she should have. Then Esther could have just been with Grace and all would be well. Then I wouldn’t have gotten as far as it had. But it wasn’t the way Kim functioned. She wouldn’t give up on her wife and their marriage. And whilst Farrah and Kim had never gotten married and didn’t promise each other till death do us part, Kim was as committed to Farrah as she once was when she married Esther. She would have stayed with Farrah for the rest of her life, vows or no vows. 

Soon the train arrived at London station, Kim excited the train looking around to get some food somewhere. She only had breakfast that day and it was now nearly a quarter past two in the afternoon. She felt her phone vibrating, she looked at it to see Sienna calling. “Oh God, has she already done the thing that I didn’t want her to?’’ Kim thought to herself. She decided to answer her phone anyways and hope for the best.

Kim: Please tell me that you didn’t speak to any of them. Honestly it wasn’t that long ago that I asked you not to do it.  
Sienna: I couldn’t do nothing. I needed to know for sure so I asked Grace if any of what you had told me was true.  
Kim: And was she gloating about it? Proud of how she had ruined my life again?  
Sienna: Not necessarily though she did not deny anything. She admitted that Farrah and her had met up a few times before. They had both needed someone to talk to and they found each other. Apparently she has been having some issues with Glenn. And Farrah was having a hard time dealing with the new situation. Nothing more than a kiss has happened though, so it wasn’t a full blown affair. Just two people looking for comfort.   
Kim: Oh well when you it like that it’s nothing. Why on earth was I so heartbroken?  
Sienna: According to Grace, Farrah did really feel bad about what she was doing. But she felt so miserable and chose to let go. I haven’t spoken to her yet, but I did hear Misbah talking to Tegan about how upset she was. And how desperate she was to hear from you.  
Kim: What am I supposed to do now? It wasn’t an impulsive move or anything. She decided to meet up with her, she wanted it. Does it really change anything?  
Sienna: I honestly don’t know Kim. I do truly believe Farrah was going through a rough time and made a mistake that she now regrets. Farrah isn’t someone that would intentionally hurt any person like that, especially you. I get that it probably doesn’t change the way you feel about the situation. I can’t imagine having to see the person you love with someone else. Don’t know if I could deal with that.  
Kim: Neither do I. I don’t know if I can forgive her for this. It isn’t just that she cheated, like I could maybe understand that. But with Grace, why did it have to be her? That woman has always been out to ruin my life. Seeing those two kissing, I won’t be able to forget about that ever.   
Sienna: It seems like it wasn’t about hurting you this time. Don’t think she stopped for a moment to think about you. She even looked slightly guilty when I confronted her. Or maybe she was just afraid that Glenn would find out about her and Farrah.  
Kim: Probably the latter. Do you think I should talk to her?  
Sienna: Yes I think you should. You can’t leave it like this, you need closure. Maybe after talking to Farrah you still feel the same way and your relationship has still ended. But at least you did your best and didn’t just give up and run away. And I also think that Farrah deserves to have her say, explain why she did it. But what you do is up to you.  
Kim: I have just arrived in London and I’m not really feeling like taking another train back to Chester immediately. A few days apart could do us both some good, gives us time to think. And for me to put things into perspective. Now what I’m going to be asking of you, I’m serious about it. Please leave Farrah alone.   
Sienna: I will.  
Kim: I mean it Sienna, promise you won’t talk to her.  
Sienna: I promise I won’t have any contact with her until you and her have had a proper conversation.  
Kim: Thank you. I’ve got to go, it’s been ages since I ate something and I’ve just spotted a small pizzeria so I’m off to have a great time with Margherita.  
Sienna: Wow moving on quickly, send me a picture of her when you see her. Want to know how good looking she is.  
Kim: Funny babes. Speak to you soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
It took me a while to find a hotel in London that was affordable but in the end I found something. The room is quite small but it has a bed and a bathroom and that's pretty much all I really need. Right after I arrived in my room I texted Tegan to le t her know how I was doing. I didn't tell her too much about the reason why I left, I'm assuming Sienna will tell her soon enough. At least with her knowing I'm alright and I'm not in a ditch somewhere she'll stop to worry.   
Looking at the clock on the nightstand Kim saw that it was already nearing seven o'clock. The day past had gone very fast, a lot had happened in a short period of time. Going from having a girlfriend, a home and a family. To staying in a crappy hotel in London with no one familiar around her. Kim kept telling herself that it was for the best that she had chosen to leave, not wanting to do anything she'd might regret. Just little over a year ago she had tried to kill Grace for sleeping with Esther. She hadn't been in a right state of mind back then and it was something she still deeply regretted doing. During Kim’s search for a hotel she had a lot of time to think about her day. Some dark thoughts crossed her mind and she came to the realisation that if she would have stayed in Chester, she might have hurt someone. She never dealt well with loss and heartbreak. Her emotions could get the better of her very quickly and without really realising it she could do things she never had even imagined doing. Being in London would give her the time to heal and see things more clearer. When Kim walked around London she had felt the most free in a long time. She wasn’t constantly scared of people walking behind or close to her. Wasn’t afraid when she’d hear a loud noise. None of the people she saw made her suspicious. Here in London was where Kim could possibly start all over again, a new life, a new job and hopefully new friends. The people in Chester hadn’t even crossed her mind. Here no one knew about her past and more importantly her sister’s. Maybe here Kim could finally be truly happy. But what about her Farrah, Tegan and Sienna? Kim wondered for a bit if they would miss her if she’d choose to stay.   
In the village

Farrah: Sienna wait up. Have you heard anything from Kim yet?  
Sienna: I have.  
Farrah: And?  
Sienna: And what?  
Farrah: Well where is she? Why did she leave?  
Sienna: I wonder why you care so much, it seems like you’ve been quite busy lately.  
Farrah: What do you mean?  
Sienna: Two words, Grace Black. Kim caught you guys together. I expected better from you, after everything Kim’s been through how dare you treat her like that.  
Farrah: Let me explain.  
Sienna: There is no right excuse for this. You broke her heart and now she’s gone because of you. She couldn’t handle seeing you anymore.  
Farrah: It was a mistake.  
Sienna; Yeah that’s what they all say after they’ve been found out.  
Farrah: I do love Kim, I really do. It was just…. I tried so hard to make her happy, to try and make her better. And she just didn’t seem to be getter any closer to her normal self. I felt so alone, I needed someone there to take care of me. And Grace was there.   
Sienna: So you chose to forget about Kim completely, despite how much you supposedly love her and get into bed with her number one enemy.  
Farrah: We didn’t sleep together.  
Sienna: That’s what Grace said too, still how can I expect a cheater to be truthful?   
Farrah: I never meant to hurt her, she doesn’t deserve that. I let myself go.   
Sienna: Well I hope you and Grace become really happy together. Though I do wonder what Grace is going to do about Glenn. I somehow think that she isn’t that willing to break things off with him. Would be sad though. You losing an amazing woman and relationship and for what? For a meaningless fling that won’t even go anywhere. Have you ever discussed it with Grace, her breaking up with Glenn?  
Farrah: No we never had.  
Sienna: I’m not surprised. I bet she is with him right now, not thinking about you in the slightest.  
Farrah: I was never planning on leaving Kim for Grace, I couldn’t. I never wanted to lose her but I let my feelings take control over my actions, which I regret so much. If I could only explain it to Kim. Tell me where she is please.  
Sienna: No can do. She didn’t even want me talking to you, well she didn’t want me confronting you. Which I didn’t you did. So I kept that promise to her. And I will keep another one and that is not telling you where she is. If she wishes to speak to you she will call you. But I would advise you to let her be. She deserves a chance to be happy with someone that actually respects her and treats her right. You had a chance to do that and you ruined it. So let’s hope for your sake that Grace leaves Glenn else you’ll be ending up empty handed from all of this.  
Farrah: If you speak to her, tell her how sorry I am.  
Sienna: Won’t promise you anything.

Next day

Kim

My first day as a single woman again, I really hoped it wouldn’t happen again. That this time I had found the one to build a future with. Now I’m in a shitty hotel in London all by myself being miserable. When I woke up this morning I saw that Farrah had texted me, begging me to speak to her. I’ve been considering calling her after all, just to make it clear that we are done. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it. To call her and tell her we are truly finished. What if hearing her voice makes me want to come running straight back in her arms and tell her that everything is going to be alright. I know that could never happen. Forgetting about her infidelity is impossible for me. I don’t have the faintest of clues how any couple could get over that. I know that Esther forgave me for my affair with Grace. But the situation was different back then. Not trying to justify my actions but I wasn’t particularly in control over my feelings or actions. Still I treated her badly and she forgave, still can’t understand why or how. I don’t even think I really deserved it. So why can’t I forgive Farrah for her mistakes? A part of me does think she’s sorry and that she regrets it. OR maybe she’s feeling guilty and only want to clear her conscious by apologizing and after wards still ending up with Grace. 

This is making me realise that I do have to talk to Farrah, clear things up. I need to know if this is really where the road ends for us or if there is still something worth fighting for.


End file.
